Erase
by Amethystfairy1
Summary: The boy in blue watches the man with the golden eyes. He wants to hear the mans voice, but dares not use his own for fear of the shadow within his heart. The shadow that has spun a legend that his forest is dangerous and haunted. Curiosity convinces him to step beyond his boundaries and into a world that speaks stories in horrified voices. A ghost, is he? Or a murderous shadow?
1. The boy in blue

_**Because after six stories I obviously need EVEN MORE Japan angst in my life so...enjoy!**_

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The little boy in the blue kimono giggled silently as he sprinted through the bamboo forest, everything was so peaceful here. He liked it, but it was also lonely. That was nothing new. Sometimes he played with the pandas. But it was not enough to satisfy that feeling inside for companionship.

* * *

The little boy was curious, as he looked out into the yard, watched the man with the long brown ponytail tending to the flowers there. Who was he? Why did he smile and hum as he worked? As he edged forward, a sandaled foot snapped a twig, and he darted quickly back into the bamboo, hiding behind a tall grove as the man turned and looked toward him.

Why, the little boy wondered, were his eyes golden? They were so beautiful. The man looked out into the green rods, his brow furrowing slightly.

Why does he not look scared? People in the village look scared when they hear him creeping in the woods. The little boys questions grew, but all the while he did not speak. He did not like to speak. He recalled, his voice had caused that black thing to come. That black thing hiding in his heart. The less he talked, the less he got talked too, the less it came. It would just stay in hiding. That is why, when the stranger he'd been spying on took a step forward, the little boy turned and fled into the green forest before he could be spotted.

It was a curious existence, the little boy thought. Watching this man who never seemed to change or age through his daily routine. Why did he never change? It seemed a question too easy to pose. To walk out to the man and quietly introduce himself with a polite little bow, to speak to him and ask these questions that so pestered him. How long had this existence been so? The little boy tried to remember, remember before he wandered this forest, but it seemed he could not. The little boy drew his blue kimono in closer, a soft huff escaped his lips. He wanted to go and speak with this stranger. This man with the golden eyes. But it was not safe. He could not recall the last time he'd held a conversation. In fact, did he even speak the same language as him? Now that was a question. The little boy took a timid step forward, now just at the edge of the border that separated his safe little grove, where he could observe without being seen, from the neat grasses of the garden.

The man leaned back as he wiped his forehead with an overly long sleeve.

"Very hot today, aru..."

The boys eyes widened, he'd heard the voice. He saved it into memory, pulled it deep into his heart, deeper then the black thing could ever reach, and held onto it tightly as he stepped backwards into the grove, turning and running away as he had so many times before.

He understood the mans words, the little boy could speak with him if he so desired. The man could speak back. They could share a joke and laugh together one day, if he ever worked up the courage to cross this border he'd drawn for himself. The little boy in the blue kimono fled far as he could into the green and a small smile came onto his face.

If he tried hard enough, he could imagine that sweet, kind, wonderful voice speaking his own name.

* * *

The little boy had sat in his preferred napping spot, outside the place he'd built to shelter him from rain and wind. Here was where he kept his single spare set of clothes and the purple sheath that held a sword he couldn't remember ever getting from anywhere. He'd just had it, strapped to his back, from the dim first memories he could pull from his brain. His home was within a large alcove in a boulder in the forest.

There were many similar rocks in the area, and dozens all mapped out within the little boys head, he could recall all of them from when he explored his forest. He picked this one because it was closest to the deepest part of the creek, the one where it was easiest to catch fish.

He'd used the purple sheathed sword to cut rods of bamboo and make something to hold the tarp that had fallen from a wagon on one of the paths through his forest. The tarp was a steely gray, but this boulder was so deep within the forest that the little boy knew only he, the birds, the fish, and the pandas would ever see it. It covered the entrance to his home. A soft pile for a bed, made from pillows and blankets smuggled, picked up, or taken when no one else seemed to notice.

He could also recall that day he'd been watching the road, so long ago, and had seen that large wagon stacked to the brim with tables, chairs, and teetering piles of furniture. When that small, low, old, unwanted table that had been tossed onto the edge of the pile fell and didn't crack. When the driver didn't stop to pick it up. The boy from the forest had ventured out when the road had calmed, taken the table, and carried the prize back to his home. More things that had fallen from wagons were other prizes to collect.

When the market season came, great carts stacked high with goods with make an appearance and the little boy would glean what he could. One very useful thing was a lantern, about half as tall as he was. It had enough oil in it to last through many dark nights. That had become something he was often forced to snatch from travelers, the oil that lit his lantern.

Now he had a good stock with of it, still in the small containers, stacked neatly against the wall next to his lantern. That was currently his entire homes furnishings, with several collected rocks with interesting colors, bits of bamboo he'd found and carried with him. A small fire pit he'd constructed from larger stones. He'd spent several an afternoon digging out a small pit in the earth outside the tarp, and made sure the fire could not spread. After so long living alone, he knew how to get food, water. He was rather good at catching fish, and the creek water was clean. He had a small jug of it, another tossed away item he'd gotten over the stretch of time he had lived here, in his home.

But now, the state of his home was far from the boys worry, he was concerned with the war that had been raging in his head for hours now.

He wanted to go speak with that man.

He wanted to keep that black thing hidden away.

He wanted the answers to his questions.

He wanted to be able to stay in his forest and watch the man forever.

The little boy pulled his knees up to his chest and tried to think of a way to hear that mans voice again. He clung tight to that one, three words phrase, ended with a vocal tick, as hard as he could, but it was now to far away to repeat in his mind over and over like he wished he could.

Finally, after a great warring debate in his mind, the little boy decided that he would leave the safety of his forest, if just for a few minutes, if it meant that he could hear that strangers voice again.

Coming to a stand, he turned and raced toward the village. Another question long buried in his mind, why was it that he was fast? He was rather quicker then any other children his size he'd seen playing in the village. He arrived at the edge of the forest, just outside the village gates with his chest heaving. He watched as the man came walking elegantly into the gate, a small skip in his step just as always. His golden eyes alight with the prospect of a days shopping at the market. He was wearing a plain gold robe with white pants underneath it, and slippers. The sleeves were too long, the stranger always seemed to have his sleeves like that.

Taking a shaky breath, the little boy edged from the border of his safe place, his forest, and followed the golden eyed man.

He followed into the market, weaving around trying to avoid anyone looking at him, seeing him. He was not even half as tall of the golden eyed man, and no one seemed to look at him as he passed.

His dull brown eyes slid all around curiously, he'd never been into the village before. Long hours had he humored himself with what might lay within the walls of the town, but he had never been brave enough to come explore.

"...two please, aru. Thank you."

The little boy in the blue kimono's eyes lit up at the sound of that voice.

The man was speaking with a stall owner, it seemed he was purchasing some of his vegetables. Trying his best not to be seen, the little boy edged closer to the stranger, eager to get another listen of the voice he loved so well. He did hear more, the man spoke to every stall owner, inquiring on goods and engaging in playful banter.

That is, until the little boy, who had not realized he was getting to close to the stranger and trailing behind him, was finally revealed.

"Who is the child?" A lady shop keeper questioned.

The golden eyes peered down and met his own, widening with surprise at the sight of the little boy so close, yet having not even noticed him.

"...I...I do not..." The golden eyed man began, confused.

The boy from the forest let out a tiny gasp at being seen, he had been seen by those golden eyes he had observed for so long from afar.

Should he say something?

"I'm sorry, but who are you, aru?" The man bent down, sitting back on his haunches in front of the little boy.

They were so close that a small hand could have reached out and rested upon the brown haired mans own hand.

The little boy didn't realize he was trembling until the concern was echoed in the man before hims voice.

"Are you lost, aru? Can you not find your family?" He asked.

The little boy turned and ran.

"Oy! Where are you going?" The man called after him.

Tears were hot, the little boy had always wondered how they never burned his eyes. They were for when he was alone in the darkness of the night, frightened by shadows and the dark piece of his heart. Not for right now, in such an unfamiliar place, with his voice threatening to escape in a strangled scream at every turn where the people were staring at him.

All of them were looking at him, all of them. Why did they not leave him alone? He should have never left the safe place. He should have just remained, watching the golden eyed man from afar, just as he usually did.

It had never failed him until now, but now, he'd allowed his curiosity to get the best of him. Now he knew. He knew that voice and he had heard it enough times to lock it away for good inside his heart. He knew it and now it was time for him to say goodbye to the man with the ponytail and the golden eyes. Ever since the little boy had started watching him, his curiosity had grown, more questions had formed, and that black thing had gotten bigger and bigger.

He remembered the last time the black thing had come out. There had been people in his woods. His forest. He had taken up that purple sheath and opened it. He'd pulled out that sword he'd never used for more then cutting wood and had chased them out. One of them got hurt, and that scarlet stain had never fully come out of his spare kimono, staining the dark purple color with red. Therefore, he tended to try and keep his usual blue one clean. Every time people came into his forest it enraged that dark piece of his heart. His vision went red and he didn't consider what he was doing.

The little boy couldn't see with his tears. Every time the black thing came he ended up hurting someone. They came into his forest, the place that was his, and no others. It was his safe place. There were paths all throughout it. Those paths were not part of his safe place, so why didn't they just use them? There fault for not using the paths, there fault. That was why they got the scars, it was no his fault. Not his fault that when the dark piece of his heart took over his vision went red and he couldn't control his own actions.

Only watch in a daze.

The safety, the beautiful rods of green, they came into sight and the little boy dove into the comfort of the criss crosses of shadows tossed onto soft green grasses.

 _Safe_.

Until that golden eyed man appeared.

"Come back! The forest is dangerous! There is a shadow that hurts the people that go in! Come back, aru!" That voice he so loved called.

The little boy huddled behind the grove, covering his mouth with his hands, his entire body was trembling as he sank to the ground.

He closed his eyes, he clenched his fists, he gritted his teeth.

Sobbing slipped out.

Everything had come up to him again, and his voice was being forced out in quiet, half held back sobs. The little boy was scared, of course he would be. He'd made his safe place into a dangerous place to everyone else.

Before his thoughts could drift further, the golden eyed man was there.

Somewhere off in the distance, a bird cawed, and the watery, tearful brown eyes stared in stunned surprise.

"Please don't run off like that. You scared me, aru." The golden eyed man said, yet again bent down in front of him.

The little boy struggled to stop crying, he covered his face and pulled into himself, he wanted to be alone.

He wanted everyone out of his forest. It would make that dark part churn angrily if anyone dared to invade.

So why wasn't that happening with the golden eyed man?

"Let me take you home."

The golden eyed man whispered.

"Just tell me which way to go. Or do you not know, aru?"

The little boy swallowed hard and stopped sobbing, trembling still, he looked up at the man he had so long watched from afar and shook his head.

"So you do know the way, aru?" He asked, eyes lighting up cheerfully.

The little boy pushed himself to his feet, coming to a stand, and turned to walk deeper into the woods.

"Do not go in there, aru!"

A hand was on his shoulder.

A hand.

Was touching him.

When was the last time he'd been touched by another person?

The little boy flinched away from the touch and looked up at the ponytailed man again.

"Where is your home?" He asked.

The blue clad boy pointed into the forest.

The golden eyed mans eyes grew concerned.

"We should not disturb the shadow." He said.

The little boy felt his voice bubbling, it was moving up his throat and out his mouth before anything else could cross his mind.

"I am the shadow."

A small streak of horror slipped onto the brown haired mans face, mouth dropping slightly open as the little boy looked up at him with blank eyes, cheeks red with tears.

The golden eyed man swallowed, then let out a heavy breath.  
"Do you realize what you did, aru?"

"I lost."

The little boy was referred to his war against the dark piece of his heart.

The man seemed to think over what to do about this in his head before finally offering his hand.

"Would you like me to walk with you home, aru?"

The little boy was deeply shocked by this, but it did not show across his face. Other then the break down of tears a few minutes ago, he rarely did show any amount of emotions. A small smile or frown was the most he was usually capable of.

The little boy considered this for a moment, taking the golden eyed man with him to his home? Was that really a good idea?

The little boy swallowed.

Maybe he didn't like other people in his forest, but if it were the golden eyed man, then he didn't mind.

* * *

 ** _Well, there ya go. This will be continued, a shorty of about four-five chapters I think. I'll post again if I get a good reaction, so let me know what you think! Please favorite, please follow, and please review! Thanks for reading!_**


	2. The shadow speaks

_**Heres the next chapter, I got a pretty good response, so I hope you enjoy!**_

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He reached up and took the mans hand, wrapping his fingers around the mans palm. The golden eyed mans fingers curled in over his own as the little boy in the blue kimono led the way towards his home.

As they walked in silence, he wondered for but a moment if he should warn the golden eyed man that, at this rate, it would be dark by the time they reached his home.

The little boy knew his dark piece did not become stronger during the night like some might suspect. The little boy was still curious as they walked as to if the man was coming with him because he was afraid or not? The shadow, it was a tale he'd managed to create without even meaning too. This forest was haunted, according to the people of the village, but he was no ghost. He was just someone who wanted to live in peace.

The little boy decided finally that he would remain silent. That dark piece twitched just a bit every time a word left his mouth. He did not want to provoke it further.

"What is your name, aru?" The golden eyed man asked.

The little boy who was called a shadow did not stop, he continued to pull the older along without even looking back at him.

"Do you not like speaking?" Another question. The little boy already had enough of those in his mind.

"Well, my name is Yao Wang."

The little boy paused for a moment in his steps, as he took ahold of that name and pulled it down into that place deeper then the dark piece of his heart. Filed it carefully away along with those snippets of conversation from the brown haired mans mouth. Along with that vocal tick, and those brilliant golden eyes.

The little boy nodded softly before he pushed forward again.

After a good deal of walking he was surprised that Yao had not questioned how far it was they were going, he was willing to be pulled along just about anywhere.

He heard a faint chuckle from the ponytailed man just then.  
"Your house is very deep in the forest. I have no clue how I would get to my home from here, you may just have to help me find the path again, aru. Are you lost as much as I am, aru?"

There was no malice in the voice. It was only of sheepish concern.

The little boy yet again spoke without meaning too.

"I know the way."

His voice was soft and breathy, barely above a whisper. That dark piece twitched again, but it did not move any further. The little boy was relieved by this.

"Ah. Well that is good to know." Yao stated.

After a little while longer, the blue clad boy realized they were getting close to his home, and the sun was starting to sink beneath the horizon.

They had arrived earlier then he thought they would, that was good.

He raised his arm and pointed at the boulder as they got close.

He looked back to see Yao's golden eyes widen at the sight of the tarp hung over the propped up bamboo. The burnt out wood in the fire pit, the way the boulder chosen was strategically close to the creek the man could hear washing through in the distance.

"Oh. I didn't realize you lived by yourself." He whispered.

The little boy had thought that would be a given, but he nodded.

Then he turned and bowed to Yao in thanks, something natural to him, the man had sacrificed a good deal of his own time and energy to walk with him all the way here.

He then turned and walked to his home's entrance, slipping beneath the tarp.

He looked around the small space for a few moments, it was probably big enough for the ponytailed man he had admired for so long to sit up straight with a half a foot or so of head room.

He waited for the man to enter as he tidied around slightly. He stuffed his sheathed sword under his bedding pile, he folded up several of the blankets to make it look more neat, he pushed the water jug over next to the table, he pushed all the rocks and little collected wood bits into another corner. He threw the tied cloth containing his spare clothes over along with it.

The boy was still waiting for the man to come in.

When he still did not after several minutes, the little boy peaked out from behind the tarp to see that Yao was standing right where he had left him, looking around, as if waiting for an invitation.

An invitation, of course!

He wouldn't just walk in when the little boy had not invited him.

Sighing softly as his own stupidity, the kimono wearing boy waved and gestured for him to come inside.

"Oh, you do want me to come in. I did not know if there was space, aru."

There was in fact about two yards from wall to wall and just under double that distance to from the tarp to the back wall.

The boy retreated back into his home as Yao approached, and when the golden eyed man crawled into the cave, he seemed rather surprised by the homeyness that had been created.

"You built this place on your own, aru?" He asked as he settled down cross legged next to the table.

The boy nodded shyly.

"It's very nice in here, I like it."

The little boy nodded again, turning slightly red from the praise.

"So...why do you live out here alone?"

Now there was a question that the little boy had been pondering himself for many, many years.

He shrugged.

"Alright then. When did you get here, aru?"

Another shrug.

"You don't know?"

The little boy nodded his head yes.

"Oh...well, how old are you?"

The green clad man must have been within the little boys mind. It was not hard for the little boy to sigh audibly before shrugging again.

Yao looked mystified.

"You don't know how old you are, aru?"

The little boy shook his head.

"Are you a ghost?"

The little boy jumped at the question and shook his head rapidly. He was fairly certain he was alive. Was he breathing? Yes. Did he have a pulse? Certainly. That meant he had a beating heart. He was most certainly alive.

Yao's shoulders slouched.

"Good, thats a relief. I didn't need to know that I followed a ghost into the forest with no idea how to get back out."

The little boy smiled softly at the obvious jest, and this caused Yao to positively beam at him.

"You seem to be a lonely little child by my judgement...why is it those people blame you for those attacks?"

The little boys smile died and he felt tears sting his eyes again.

Why did he have to bring up the dark piece of his heart? He felt that part of him move again, twitch and spasm.

The tears must have shown because Yao quickly put up his hands and waved them back and forth.  
"No no no! Please do not be upset, aru! I just do not understand."

Yao looked awkwardly off at the wall and the little boy swallowed.

His lips formed those four syllables, mouthing them silently. He did it again. Again. How simple would it be? How many times had he imagined telling the golden eyed man those very two words? Those two words he knew very well, he knew more then anything what they were. What they represented.

"...Kiku Honda."

He mumbled.

Yao's head snapped up and he looked at the little boy in surprise.  
"I'm sorry?"

"...Kiku Honda."

Even quieter now that eyes were upon him.

"Ki-ku Hon-da. Ki-ku Hon-da." Yao repeated brokenly before fitting the syllables together.

"Kiku Honda. Is that your name?"

The little boy nodded.

Yao's beaming smile returned.  
"Well it's nice to meet you, Kiku."

The blue clad boy drew his knees up before standing and walking over to the tarp and peering out.

"It is dark."  
He mumbled before dropping the tarp again, it was growing to the point where it would be pitch black within his home very soon. He shuffled over to his lantern and checked the oil. It would last the night, so he lit it and the home was bathed in golden light.

"You are very self sufficient aren't you, aru?" Yao asked, smiling.

Kiku looked back over at him with a blank stare, behind the look was a hidden fondness as he shuffled back over to the table and sat down opposite of Yao again.

"...well, I have no idea how I am going to get home." Yao sighed as he looked toward the tarp.

Kiku shook his head softly.

"...I do not like to go out at night. It is scary."

Where was this voice coming from all of the sudden? Why did that dark piece stir less with every word to Yao instead of more?

Yao nodded understandingly.  
"Self sufficient as you are you are still a child. No child likes going out into the dark." Yao spoke knowledgeably.

Kiku nodded a second time before glancing awkwardly down, suddenly the grains of the table were wonderfully fascinating.

Yao sighed.

"Do you mind if I stay with you the night, aru? I have no clue how to get home without you guiding me to the path."

Kiku hesitated before standing and walking over to his bed pile. He dug around for a moment while Yao watched before drawing out the two largest blankets and a pillow.

He spread the blanket onto the ground, folded it in half, then he placed the pillow at the head, then spread the other blanket out.

Yao realized Kiku was making a pallet for him to sleep on.

"Thank you, aru." He said.

Kiku nodded and then mumbled.  
"I don't have anymore pillows."

He gestured to his own bedding pile, all that remained were several torn up, thin blankets, a single thick, smaller woolen blanket, and a larger pillow that made up Kiku's mattress. Kiku had given Yao his other pillow, the one he normally used for his head.

Yao waved a hand.  
"It's no problem at all, aru." He promised.

Kiku nodded yet again, then he sat down at the table again and hugged his knees.

Now was the time. His dark piece wasn't pestering him, his voice was escaping with more ease. This was his chance.

"Why...do you never change?"

Yao looked confused.

"What do you mean, aru? Have we met?"

The black haired boy winced. Here it was, here was the part where the ponytailed man found out that he was watching him all the time and ran away as fast he could.

"...I see you...sometimes...I go to the forest near your house...to play with the pandas...I see you in the garden...when you sing or play music on your deck...I like to sit and listen behind the grove where you can't see me...but for all this time...you never changed, not even a little bit."

Yao's eyes went wide.

"Wait...do you know how to count a year?"

Kiku nodded softly.

"Well, how many years has it been since you've come here?"

Kiku shook his head, he did not know that.

Yao frowned for a moment before speaking again.

"How long has it been since you first saw me?"

Kiku counted carefully on his fingers, then held up both hands fingers spread, and repeated the gesture three times.

"Thirty years, aru?"

Kiku nodded.

Yao paled.

"That means you must be...and all this time you were wandering around so close to me and I didn't find you!" Yao clutched at his head and groaned.

"What is wrong?" Kiku asked, tilting his head to the side curiously.  
"You are not like other people. I represent a body of people, a nation, and I will live and never change until the nation itself changes or is erased altogether. Tell me, do you ever get pains that you do not understand? Or bruises and scars though you don't ever recall getting injured, aru?"

Kiku hugged himself and nodded.

"That means you are a nation. Not a shadow. Young nations sometimes appear in close vicinity to older nations, that way they can learn from the older nations and join there families, aru. I do not have family yet, but you...it doesn't make sense. Why did you not speak to me if you've been in this forest watching me for thirty years?"

Kiku put a hand over his heart.

"...when I speak..."

The dark piece spasmed again just then, but it was now Kiku realized that it was shrinking. It felt less powerful then it had before. His vision wasn't being edged red. How did that make any sense?

"The dark part moves." Kiku said firmly.

Yao furrowed his brow.

"Dark part?"

"Theres a dark piece hiding in my heart." Kiku replied.

"When I get mad, it gets bigger. Then my sight goes all red and I reach for the purple sheath." Kiku gestured to the purple thing poking out from under his blanket.

Yao nodded slowly.

"You are a young nation, your lands could very well be in turmoil. There could be an oppressive government on the rise. But it is being fought back by right and just. Kiku, you are a representation of a land in the middle of war every day. That is wear the dark piece comes from."

Kiku felt it shrink away more.

"Why is it getting smaller?"

Yao smiled.

"That means that the right and just government is overthrowing the oppressive one. The war will continue to rage. That is just how nations work. You will learn how to understand and interpret these feelings in order to help your people later, aru."

Kiku's black bangs bobbed with the movement of his head up and down before he yawned and crawled towards his little makeshift bed.

"Bedtime already, aru? Well I'm the guest so I can't complain."

Yao chuckled before moving over to the blankets Kiku had laid out for him.

Kiku moved over to the lamp and flicked it out, then looked over at the golden eyed man.

"Good night."

The little boy said.

Yao hummed in acknowledgement.

"Good night, aru."

* * *

 _ **Thats it! I hope you liked it! Please favorite, follow, and review! Thanks so much for reading!**_


	3. Cleaning the stains

_**Fourth chapter, here we go!**_

* * *

When Yao woke up the next morning, it took him a few minutes to recall just where he was.

Oh, thats right, he followed a little boy who'd accidentally created the legend of the shadow of the forest into the woods. To his little home built into the side of a boulder. It turned out he was a nation, and his name...

"Kiku?" Yao sat up and disentangled himself from the borrowed blanket. Unbending his spine from sleeping on the ground, he yawned as he turned to look towards the little boys sleeping pile.

He was gone.

So was the purple sheath.

Yao's blood ran cold.

Kiku had left him in the cave like home while he went out with a sword? Did he patrol the forest every morning to make sure none ever entered? What if he only let Yao come in because he didn't intend to let the brown haired man leave? Yao had no idea which part of the forest he was in, and in hindsight he really should have made sure to know his own way before following Kiku in. The little boy in the blue kimono had even admitted to being the shadow without any sort of hesitation. Yao shook his head swiftly. He had to get away from here before Kiku came back. Then, he'd do some research and ask around with other countries to find out if there was a small country nearby his own that was newly formed. He'd check it out, and if that country proved not to be completely lethal, he'd try and find Kiku again.

But just as he moved towards the tarp to begin his escape, he heard the soft _pit-pat_ of small sandaled feet and realized that Kiku was already returning.

Yao mentally prepared himself for the sight of the little boy he'd already become a little fond of spattered with scarlet and holding a bloody sword.

There was a dull _flop_ from outside and then the footsteps retreated again.

Yao swallowed hard, what had that flopping sound been? What if Kiku dragged one of his victims back to his home? Yao shuddered at the thought, and elected that remaining hidden would be a better option, seeing as he could still hear Kiku's footsteps in the nearby vicinity.

There were then some dry _clack-clack_ sounds and Yao's imagination yet again ran away with him, conjuring the image of Kiku tossing dried bones into a pile.

There was a scratching sound that repeated several times over, then a soft crackling took it's place.

Yao could smell smoke and realized that there was a fire going.

Fire? Why would Kiku start a fire?

Yao couldn't take it, so he pushed the tarp up just a bit and peered out.

He almost slapped himself in the face to see Kiku using a sharpened stick to skewer several fish, then place them on a bamboo constructed rack over the fire he was coaxing to life with dried wood pieces.

His hair was a little damp and the hem of his kimono was wet, Yao realized that Kiku must have gone and caught the fish, used his sword to gut them, and was now cooking them for breakfast over a fire lit on dry wood.

Of course, the child had to get food from somewhere!

"Good morning." Kiku greeting quietly, he'd noticed Yao's movement.

Yao jumped, then moaned softly and rubbed his eyes.  
"You scared me, aru."

"Oh. I apologize."

"Do not. I was being silly." Yao mumbled in reply before edging his way out of the cave and settling down next to the fire pit.

"Like I said last night, you are very self sufficient, aren't you?"

Kiku shrugged as he turned the two fish over on the rack.

"I'm impressed. Really."

"Thank you." Kiku mumbled.

After the fish were cooked and eaten, Yao jumped at the sound of more movement within the woods. Several pandas made an appearance.

Kiku's dull brown eyes shone excitedly as he stood up and moved to greet them.

Within a few minutes Kiku was chasing around the panda's, actually acting like a child his age.

Yao watched with a smile on his face, and it grew when Kiku was gently knocked over by one of the animals, causing him to laugh before catching himself and covering his mouth with his hand.

 _He told me that he feels the darkness in his heart grow whenever he speaks...I wish I could understand how that could be...normally for a young nation, they have no control over the feelings of their shifting government. I wonder if his capital is under attack. That could explain it, my heart is made up of my capital as well. But that wouldn't quite tell me how that can affected by his voice. Seeing him being so convinced that his pain is caused by his voice worries me. I want to help him..._

He watched Kiku play with the pandas for a while longer, no longer feeling in any sort of rush to leave.

Soon enough, though, Kiku seemed to bid farewell to the panda's, who lumbered off into the green rods, and move back over to Yao.

He looked up at the man curiously, as if waiting for something.

 _He must be wondering why I haven't left yet..._

Yao concluded as he came to a stand and stretched.

"Well, I suppose I should be going home now. It was nice to visit with you, aru." He said, smiling down at Kiku.

Kiku nodded twice, then looked shyly down at the ground while at the same time reaching up with his hand.

Yao was happy to take it.

"You'll have to help me find the path again, from there I can make it home."

Kiku nodded again and moved off, Yao assumed they were heading for the path.

The walk was long again, Kiku had built his home deep inside the forest.

"Kiku...how would you like to come visit my house tomorrow?"

Kiku's head snapped up from where he'd been staring down at the ground, and he looked up at Yao with shock written across his face.

Yao chuckled softly.

"Of course I mean it, aru." He insisted.

Kiku small little smile returned and he nodded.

"Wonderful!" Yao exclaimed, pleased to know he'd gotten the boy committed to seeing him again.

At the edge of the forest, Yao realized that Kiku had, instead of guiding him back to the path, led him all the way to his home.

Yao walked out into the garden and Kiku didn't follow.

The golden eyed man looked back at him before waving.

"I'll see you tomorrow, Kiku!"

Kiku had already turned to leave, but looked over his shoulder and raised his hand in a wave before running away into the green rods.

He was out of sight in an instant.

Yao let out a heavy sigh when worry filled his heart.

 _The boy has lived out there for more then three decades, he will be fine for a single night._

Shaking his head, Yao turned and walked to his home, stepping up onto the front porch and heading inside.

* * *

Kiku watched from the grove he'd circled around to as the golden eyed man came back out of his house with a wooden flute, he settled onto the edge of the porch and started to play.

Kiku felt something odd welling up in his chest. It was not the dark piece, it was something different.

Something warm.

Kiku listened to the melody of the flute for a few minutes before turning and dashing back into the greenery again, he was going to sleep well that night, so that he would be able to come back, and finally go into the garden he'd been watching for so long from just beyond the grove.

* * *

Kiku pulled his purple kimono from the water and looked it over, scowling.

It was much fancier then his plain blue one, with swirling black patterns on it and a waist tie with a bow and tails. Unfortunately, the pretty purple fabric was stained with an ugly dried brown on the sleeve.

Kiku shuddered to remember how vividly scarlet that stain had been when it had first landed.

Yet, the boy had never been so determined to get rid of it as he was now, and after nearly twenty minutes solid of scrubbing and scratching, he had finally gotten the cloth free of the stain.

He laid the sopping fabric out on the top of his boulder home and sat up there, waiting for the sun to dry it out.

There had been no established time or position of the sun for Kiku's arrival, so he figured that as soon as he was dressed and his home was closed up for his absence, he would leave.

About an hour later, Kiku had tied the waist of his purple kimono, closed up the tarp over the cave, and run off in the direction of the golden eyed mans house.

* * *

Yao sat on the edge of his deck, waiting with concern bubbling up that he was trying very hard to quell.

 _I honestly expected him to show up the second the sun rose, I was prepared for it, but it's nearly lunch and he still hasn't come. I pray something hasn't happened to the boy..._

After a few more minutes, he saw a flash of purple, and relief washed over him when that little black haired head shuffled up to the very edge of the forest.

"Kiku!" Yao waved, coming to a stand.

Kiku stood at the edge of the forest and waved back before looking down at the border between the garden and the forest.

How many times had he dreamed about crossing it?

Yao walked over and smiled.

Kiku felt warm again.

He stepped over the border and walked into the garden, Yao offered Kiku his hand.

Kiku took it, and they spent the day inside, Kiku pointing at things and Yao offered explanation about what they were. Kiku had smiled widely at his first taste of sweets and tea, and they ended the day on the back deck, arguing over the rabbit on the moon.

Kiku was so very happy, he didn't even notice how the shadow had withered and died away.

* * *

 _Centuries pass...times change...scars are gained...shadows rise...trust is broken..._

* * *

Yao blinked, his vision bleary as he lifted his head from his folded arms.

 _Fell asleep on the deck..._

It had been evening when Yao had drifted off, now the full moon hung suspended in the sky of glittering stars. Yao looked out across his garden.

Out into the forest of green, and that small, nostalgic, long ago self still hiding inside him murmured.

"...I wonder if the shadow is watching me..."

Yao sighed heavily. It had been thousands of years since he'd met the so called shadow. Thousands of years since he'd taken a terrified Kiku under his arm during thunderstorms. Invited him to live with him, told him to bring his things from that boulder in the forest to his cozy home surrounded by a garden of bright color. He and Kiku had visited Japan together, they had learned that this was Kiku's nation, that Kiku truly could live forever.

That the older and younger were brothers, meant to remain under the same roof. Centuries had passed since Kiku had become a big brother himself, to Taiwan, the Korea twins, Hong Kong.

Centuries since Kiku had driven a sword across Yao's back and left him to bleed out in the mud and the rain.

 _The golden eyed man and the shadow...it is a legend in this area...a myth...something people still believe. That the shadow in the forest is still watching them._

Yao scoffed. At that very moment the real, flesh and blood, living, breathing shadow was far, far away, on an island nation off the coast that wanted nothing more to do with him.

Yao's house was empty...lonely and quiet, like it had been before he'd chased Kiku from the marketplace of the village so very long ago.

Yao suddenly saw a flash of blue from the very corner of his eye.

Not being obvious, he directed his gaze to that still flourishing grove that Kiku had hidden in to listen to him play music.

He didn't see anything.

"I'm so old my mind is playing tricks on me...trying to take me back to a time when everything was perfect..."

Yao grumbled before standing up and walking inside, slamming the deck door behind him.

Leaving fairy tale dreams of that perfect long ago time far behind him.

* * *

 _ **The next chapter will be that last! So please favorite, follow, and review! Thanks for reading!**  
_


	4. Safe place

_**I thought it would end up longer, but heres the final chapter! Enjoy!**_

* * *

The grove was still big enough to hide him, Kiku noted, he'd grown very much since he'd last hidden behind these green rods.

He was wearing his favorite blue kimono, it honestly hadn't crossed his mind that he was wearing it when he felt the desire to be somewhere safe. When that pounding dark piece in is heart starting twisting and rattling the bars of the cage that Kiku had done his very best to trap it in.

This was the first place that had come to mind.

Kiku wasn't quite sure why, at first, even though his very young childhood was a time that he could recall with perfect clarity.

He told China that it was fuzzy, that he didn't quite remember much before meeting Yao in the forests and moving in with him. When Yao told him the legends about the golden eyed man and the shadow, Kiku said he could not recall ever being involved in such a tale.

He lied.

The dark piece of his heart that moved when he spoke, he could remember it, it had never gone away, it had always been a part of him. There were still times when it completely took over, and his vision went completely red.

When he sent his older brother to the ground beaten and cut with that same purple sheathed sword.

Kiku swallowed hard as he darted across the rods to the opposite grove, praying Yao was not awake.

He peeked up, and was shocked to see his older brother sitting out on the deck, staring out into the green rods of bamboo.

Kiku pulled his head down and hid away behind the green.

It had never failed in concealing him before, and it didn't seem that today would be the first time.

"I'm so old my mind is playing tricks on me...trying to take me back to a time when everything was perfect..."

Kiku stiffened at the sound of that, what could he possibly mean?

 _A time when everything was perfect...when I first came to visit from the forest?_

Kiku heard the door slam and stood up timidly, peering out to see that Yao had gone inside.

He walked out from behind the grove and moved toward the garden.

For but a moment, he felt like the little boy in the blue kimono again, staring down at a border that he'd built for himself.

Kiku looked back up at the house.

 _He must have gone in for the night._

Kiku convinced himself.

He took a single step forward, and the past reared its head once more.

This back porch had seen many happy days, playing in the sun with the pandas, napping in the mid afternoon, jumping in puddles after rainstorms, and looking up at the moon and the starry night sky that hung above him at that very moment.

It had also seen many arguments, not all of them were about what the rabbit on the moon was doing.

That spot, that exact place right in front of the back deck was where Yao had fallen. Kiku had come out of the house, and his brother had not turned to see who it was.

He trusted Kiku, and kept his back to him.

Kiku had repaid him by slashing across that back with his blade.

Kiku heard the heart wrenching scream echo in his mind, and looked down at the single foot firmly planted within the garden that held his childhood.

It didn't belong there anymore, what right was there for him to stand upon such precious ground?

Kiku's head snapped up when he heard a crashing noise.

His eyes locked with those bright golden orbs.

Yao's teapot smashed to the deck, and he stared out at the other nation with completely obvious shock.

Kiku couldn't help but wonder if he were simply misinterpreting the older's face of horror.

Yao was looking Kiku dead in the eyes, and Kiku wanted to break the gaze, but how could he? It was like those eyes trapped him, still fascinated him as they had thousands of years ago when he was child gazing out from behind the grove.

"Japan...what can I do for you? It's rather late for a meeting." Yao forced out stiffly.

Kiku swallowed hard.

"I..."

The dark piece twisted.

"I cannot..."

It spasmed.

"I didn't mean to intrude..."

It grew.

Kiku let out a heavy breath when he felt the shadow of his heart suddenly thrashing with such intensity. Was it the sight of Yao in such a familiar setting? Was it the sight of his former caretaker dressed in his old red robe instead of a military uniform? Was it this place, the garden he could recall looking out on in wonder?  
Or was it something that was trying to force it's way out of him? Something the older was beyond accepting, and something Kiku did not have the right to attempt.

Kiku looked down at his hands and saw that they were trembling.

He looked back up to see that Yao was still staring deeply into his eyes.

"I'm sorry!"

Kiku forced out the words.

Silence followed.

A bitter, abject period of denial that hung thick in the air and caused a heat behind the younger nations eyes.

Because he was nothing but an emotionless facade, no one ever saw the frightening struggle beneath the surface between a timid, shy boy and a dark, looming shadow.

No one could ever know, or tell, that such a monstrous thing was caged within this small, weak body. Who would ever be able to see the fear contained in dark brown orbs most people found drab and without feeling? How could any possibly see the shivering, lonely, terrified boy hidden away behind faked, cold smiles and shifting glances?

Yao stepped off of the deck, snapping Kiku from the thoughts of his own inter conflict.

"The shadow returned?" He guessed.

Kiku fell onto his knees.

Yao knew.

Kiku had not spoken to Yao on the subject of the shadow for well over a thousand years. He had not seen any indication from Kiku about the hated thing for centuries. He had not shared so much as a single kind word with his chinese brother for decades.

But he had known in a heartbeat what was wrong.

Kiku hid his face in his hands.

"It never left." He murmured.

Yao stepped up to the edge of the garden, standing on his side of the invisible border drawn where the flowers met the bamboo.

"I have no reason to trust you." Yao spoke coldly.

Kiku didn't bother to protest against what was obviously the truth. Yao had trusted him, and Kiku had betrayed him and left him to die.

Kiku was still burying his face in his hands, when he felt something warm rest upon his shoulder.

The black haired nation lifted his head to see Yao bent on his haunches in front of him, a hand on his shoulder.

"I must be stupid for wanting to trust you anyway, aru."

Kiku's mouth fell open at some point during this sentence, and Yao moved forward onto his knees and wrapped his arms around him.

Kiku's own arms were pinned between them, but Kiku was already exhausted from the events of the night so far, and from running out here so late, that he fell into the embrace without a thought, fingers curling into the soft silky fabric of the robe.

It was far away, faded, yet beautifully familiar piece of a time that was perfect.

"I was thinking about the legend...about the golden eyed man and the shadow, aru." Yao whispered, not needing to speak any louder with Kiku's head resting on his shoulder.

"I remember when you were still very young, and you asked me what that shadow was."

Kiku didn't respond, he could remember that answer from so long ago in the cave he once called home. He doubted Yao could recall the same answer.

"I said that it was because you were a young, shifting nation, didn't I?"

Kiku pulled back slightly and looked at those golden orbs in disbelief.

Yao smiled wearily.

"I knew that you could remember back then. You just didn't want me to realize it, so you lied. Isn't that a bit childish?"

Kiku's face was still frozen in a mix of shock that this situation was actually occurring, pain from the thrashing of the darkness in his heart, and amazement that Yao could remember that time as vividly as he did.

"I was thinking about it recently...and I think I know what the shadow really is."

Yao pulled Kiku back into a hug.

"It is your loneliness. When you were younger you were alone for a very long time, as a result you lashed out at people who invaded what you called your safe place. It formed something inside of you, and since you had nothing else to call it, and no one to explain, you called it your shadow."

Yao sighed.

"You started to get lonely again when Hong Kong came. Of course we found him hundreds of years before he became to city he is now. He had a lot of issues, got sick often, and I spent a lot of time with him. You got jealous of that, but you are not a person who thinks in those ways, you didn't consciously feel jealous, I know you wanted the best for Li Xiang, just as I did. But, you had no better explanation, so you only viewed it as the shadow returning."

Yao rubbed soothing circles into Kiku's back and continued on.

"You have been alone for a long time again. You have friends, but none of them are close enough to you for you to feel like you can trust them with your secrets, aru. Trust them enough to allow them into your safe place...into the forest of green you hold inside your heart. Thats why you are here, isn't it? Because this forest is the only place on the planet where you feel truly safe."

Kiku shook his head softly, but before he could vocalize anything, Yao let out a breathy chuckle.

"Of course...I forgot. The house that's inside your safe forest. The garden of bright colors is what you called it. This is a safe place for you as well, aru."

Yao leaned back again and smiled in the way that reached his golden eyes.

"Would you like to come in?" Yao stood and offered his hand.

Kiku's own took it, the grip was a lifeline, holding him down and drowning out the shadows.

"I would."

Kiku was so busy struggling to halt his tears as Yao wrapped an arm around his shoulders that he didn't even notice that the shadow had once more withered and died away.

* * *

 _ **There ya go! What do you think? Was it ok? Well, please review and let me know what you think! Also give me ideas for any other East Asia angst to try my hand at! Just so you know, my headcannon Asian family is China, Japan, Taiwan, Korea Twins, and Hong Kong. The rest are cousins and I don't know enough about their characters to write them accurately! So once more, please review and thanks so much for reading!**_


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